. . .
Beyonce: "Uh, it's empty"
Me (entering stage): "Oh yeah. That's because I don't know any, other than the Freedom Institute, and I couldn't give it to those guys after they snubbed me in their 'Irish Blog Awards 2005'.
{Sobbing sounds are heard as I duck my head and turn my back. Beyonce then offers her condolences with hugs and kisses and I'm feeling a little better.}
Oh, sorry about that. Now, back to those sham/scam Irish blog awards. All right, who are the winners, anyway?
- Best Overall Blog: Mark Humphrys — Humphrys? I mean, who can read that blog. It's so narrow. And, it's not in the right order. I ask you, who else organizes his blog by topic and not with a simple reverse chronological ordering?
- Best Political Analysis: Blackline — Blackline? Blackline? He only writes occasionally and I'm sure he gets most of his analysis from this page, even when it's subtly hidden in obscure references to northern NY State or in a post about the need to buy a Russian rocket launcher.
- Best Economic Analysis: Atlantic Blog — Well that explains a lot. The judges must be cats and dogs. William loves those animals and loves writing about them. But, he doesn't even like sports, which should be a prerequisite for any blog award. No blog is worth anything if it doesn't devote a fair amount to what would be ridiculous nonsense if it wasn't so vitally important, a.k.a. SPORTS.
- Best Appearance Richard Delevan — The judges obviously never saw Richard without his make-up on. It's all chemicals and cosmetic surgery. Really. He doesn't have my natural beauty.
- Best Humour Richard Delevan — What, again? He's good looking and funny? I don't think so. I think they meant to give Richard one award for Most Humorous Appearance.
- Best International Blog Little Green Footballs — Little green men, more like.
What? This sounds like I'm bitter and lack grace? Okay, then, I suppose. Congratulations to the winners.
