If it wasn't so funny it would be offensive.

First of all, thanks to William for finding the report that was quoted by the Irish Examiner the other day.

I haven't read much of it yet or really analyzed it, but basically they got together two groups of people in each EU state and let them participate in 'guided' discussions on culture. Unless I'm misreading the report, that means 8 - yes EIGHT - people from Ireland were involved. Now statistical models are a great thing, but I'm pretty sure that 8, NOT randomly selected, people might be just a smidge too small a sample size to allow anyone (ahem, N.B. Irish Examiner) to declare that "Irish people want to become more European and are highly critical of the US, its values and culture". (Oops - what I get for reading too quickly. There were 16 Irish people involved, not 8. Still, a pretty small sample from a population of 4m).

Regardless, there are some priceless quotes here, all of which are not much more than claptrap born of bigotry. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from "Europeans":

• "I have the feeling what is at stake is rather globalisation. It mainly comes from the Americans and the English, whether you are in a discotheque here in Cologne or in Madrid or Warsaw, you hear the same music" (Germany. Lower-middle social and educational level)
  What? Isn't Nena putting out any good records these days?
  
  
• "Having a general culture, we think more. We refine our judgements by reading a book which also enriches our vocabulary. Then by discussing the book with someone else, we also improve our reasoning capacity and our capacity to question things. That does not happen among Americans. They have no personal opinions on any subject" (Romania. Higher-middle social and educational level)
  In my personal opinion you're a moron.
  
  
• "I would define the European culture as more creative. The Europeans are active and energetic. I cannot imagine the Americans as active and creative" "The European culture has a past. That is exactly why the Americans envy us. Their history goes back in time to some 200 years..., you can extract whatever pottery from the earth on our lands" (Bulgaria. Higher-middle social and educational level)
  Yup, Americans are just green with envy. On an almost daily basis all 300 million of them dream about living in Bulgaria.

Honestly, the fact that this report was commissioned and published by the European Commission is almost beyond belief. When you read the quotes - and I've only really dipped into it so far - you realize that the European Commission obviously considers it all right to publish a report that basically says Americans are a nation of Neanderthals.

What's really funny, however, is that the envy is all in the other direction. Americans hardly even give Europe a thought, other than as a sort of Disneyland of history.