Sixty-four percent of those surveyed didn't believe divorce had undermined "the institution of marriage". I can understand why so many people would say that because divorce was legalized after cohabitation and single parenthood had become socially acceptable. [UPDATE: Just realized I left out 'legal separation', which I intended to include.] All of these 'developments' have "undermined the institution of marriage", divorce probably the least of them. Also, the divorce laws are still fairly restrictive, which is a good thing.
If the divorce referendum were held today, I'd probably vote yes. I think divorce should be legal, difficult to obtain and essentially unacceptable. If divorce was less acceptable there'd be fewer people willing to toss their marriages aside, often for selfish, almost nonsensical, reasons.
There are regular features in the press about "deadbeat Dads", fathers who don't pay child support. Those men (& I guess women too) are treated as pariahs by the media, but that's only because they're not sending a check home. So long as they pay for the dental bills and football club the fact that they walked away from their family is virtually ignored. Anyone who just walks away from marriage should pay a price socially. Too many lame excuses are accepted from those who abandon their wife or husband.
Marriage is about a lot more than just money. It's the basis of our society. The fact that we've undermined this ancient institution may not be as apparent because the undermining is a slow process, but there will be a cost. I believe that the price our society will pay for the destruction of marriage will be far greater than the costs associated with climate change.
I like this from yesterday's speech by the Archbishop of Canterbury:
And that's of course one of the sad things about some of the debates we have about marriage these days; that a great deal of the running is made in commentating in reflective terms by people who don't perhaps fully see how much they are trading off the inherited capital of a stability and yes, a prosaic heroism that's evolved over generations. And the fluidity and changeability of relationships and the transience of marriage may look perfectly fine if you belong to the commentating classes of north London [or Dublin or New York or Los Angeles … - IE], but you don't have to go very many miles to see what the cost is for people who can't take that sort of thing for granted.We're spending our capital, which will eventually be all gone.
